i thought my life would be complete now. thought i've found that one piece that has been missing all my life. i said to myself "nakita ko na s'ya finally". but now, things got ugly. and my life started to get messy. it's getting worse than what i had before that piece tried to complete my puzzle. ngayon, parang mas mahirap na buuin ung puzzle.
i admit, it made me smile everyday. i saw the puzzle. it was solved. and i was very happy. i've never felt that happiness in my life before. and i prayed it would last forever. masayang masaya ako. walang kasing saya. i started living the dreams sabi nga nila. i was making plans with that piece. i was enjoying. but the thing i never noticed is that i was drowning myself already. and that piece would never save me. she left me hanging, ruining the puzzle she once fixed.
may mga bagay na nawala sa pagdating nya. and it was my fault letting them go. akala ko kasi, mas magiging okay ako na wala sila basta anjan sya. i never realized that may possibility na mawala din sya, and when that time comes, di ko na maibabalik ung mga bagay na naging kapalit ng pagdating nya.
i'm trying to look back. trying to see what i've done wrong. Sira ako when it comes to being attached to things. yun ba ang mali ko? masyado akong nagiging attached sa mga bagay sa paligid ko? at nahihirapan ako pag nawala na sila. then how will i be happy na hindi magiging attached sa ibang tao? and i don't see myself being alone in the first place.. Magulo! walang kasing gulo!
so.. what now? di ako masaya. i'm empty again. don't even know where to start. i ain't got no company. nawala na sila. dahil pinili ko siya. at ngayon, umalis na din sya. is this the price i have to pay? dahil sa mga kagaguhan ko before? siguro nga. kung eto man yun, hanggang kailan ko dapat pagbayaran? Eto ba dapat ang maging kabayaran? di ba parang sobra sobra naman to?
to suffer this pain alone is unbearable for me. this agony is killing me. is there anyone out there who can help me?
